One thing I’ve learned to loathe is the transience that permeates modern life. How despite being surrounded by people, our busy shuffling works to trample any seeds of connection which might grow.
If you’ve lived in a city, you are familiar with the thick shells we form around ourselves so we don’t drown in the overwhelm. We avoid engaging with others so as not to break the momentum of our isolation. We’re happy to surround ourselves with neighbors who stare at the ground when we pass because a shared glance would be too intimate. It’s not even heart-breaking. It’s the slow suffocation of a heart until it doesn’t have the will to thump, for fear of being heard.
I caught myself slipping into this quiet, and so, I began the experiment.
Compliment a stranger. Criticize a stranger. Speak your intrusive thoughts out loud. Crash the conversation you’re eavesdropping. Invite others into the joke you catch them listening to. Tell someone an ultra-precise assumption you’ve made of their character based on a sticker they’ve got and a shoe they’re wearing.
Break the script. Shatter expectations. Fit so perfectly into a stereotype that others don’t know whether to shrivel or to laugh. Lie poorly with a grin rich enough to sell it. Reveal the hard truth with radical nonchalance. Give the long version of short stories. Remember names and remember them well; Ask as many times as it takes to not forget. Smile broadly. Don’t forget to say hello.
I learned to stop predicting people and start testing them. The reality of interaction reveals more connections between us than prediction ever could.
We need to dispel the unknown, not dismiss it. We don’t need serendipity to encounter people; We need awkward bumbling. We need to be reminded we can see each other.
In transient places, evidence that you exist is more courtesy than most will give you. If someone has taken offense to you, they will ignore or pretend you aren’t there. This is already the default treatment. Break our isolation. If you see someone floating about in the city, do them a favor and fish them out of the sea of non-existence. Even if you have to use a hook, I will love you for it.